


Slammin' shots and marry a man

by pocketsizedtitan



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, M/M, Modern AU, NSFW, Spring Break, also elvis, at least they sorta got the order right, but it's ok bc sexy time, just kinda skipped a step, the dating step
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-19
Updated: 2014-01-19
Packaged: 2018-01-09 07:05:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1142996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pocketsizedtitan/pseuds/pocketsizedtitan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's spring break. They get drunk. Marriage and sex ensues.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Slammin' shots and marry a man

**Author's Note:**

> because I keep forgetting to post this thing here. originally posted a while ago on [tumblr](http://pocketsizedtitan.tumblr.com/post/63526123426/slammin-shots-and-marry-a-man). 
> 
> This is probably long overdue for mass-editing, but the fact that this is pr0n makes me flustered and embarrassed and I just -- //walks away
> 
> Also inspired from The Lonely Island's [Spring Break Anthem](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUw4Qh9uFK8), hence the title.

**11:38**

His head was pounding. The light was too bright. His stomach felt like he ate something bad, threw it up, and proceeded to eat something just-as-bad. Why the hell was the light on? Jean groaned, rolling over and pulling the pillow over his head, instantly regretting the action when a sharp pain reverberated throughout his skull. His hands fumbled to untangle themselves from the blankets as they slid up to hold his head. That didn’t help, either, when he touched what felt like a rather large bump somewhere beneath his hairline.  _Ugh_. Why did it feel like someone had dropped an anvil on his head?

“Never fucking drinking again,” he rasped out, cursing every ache, every throb. He couldn’t bring himself to pry open his eyes. It already hurt just  _thinking_ about the brightness he hid from. Jean could only imagine the agony he’d be in facing it head-on. With a sigh, Jean scooted closer to the warmth emitting next to him, pressing himself closer to a hot body, burying his face against a neck, fluffy hair tickling his nose. There was a faint smell of cinnamon that calmed his hangover a little. Jean draped an arm over a flat chest, suddenly craving a cinnabun for breakfast – his stomach grumbled – but he was too tired to get up. Just a little longer…

Jean ripped himself away the next second. If he wasn’t awake a second ago, he was completely awake now because there was  _someone in his bed_. He shoved the pillow away from him and groaned in protest the next when his eyes were assaulted by sunlight beaming through an obnoxiously big window. Palms to his closed lids, Jean rubbed furiously, squinting to gradually get used to the light of day. He heard a sigh and a rustle as whoever was in his bed rolled over. When Jean was finally able to look, he was met with a bare back. Not a very  _feminine_ back, either. Although that back and those shoulders weren’t the manliest he’d ever seen, he recognized that stupid mop of brown hair and the reality of said back belonging to a guy had him freaking out.

And so, Jean did the only sensible thing he could think of. He kicked the body out of his bed, a furious blush on his face, “ _Eren!_ ”

Eren oomphed as he collided into the ground. A second of silence settled in the hotel room, the next a disgruntled and disoriented Eren sat up, rubbing his eyes sleepily. “Whu—?”

“What the hell are you doing here?” Jean demanded, lowering his voice when his head gave another painful throb.

“Jean…?” Eren blinked slowly, his brain gradually processing the question and Jean’s presence. He looked around the hotel room, spotting his duffel bag on the chair across the room. Eren yawned and scratched his stomach. “What are you talking about? This is my room.”

“Oh.” Jean deflated. “Sorry I guess.”

Eren propped his chin over the edge of the bed, hands grasping the sheets, eyes half open as he asked, “Why are  _you_ in my room?”

“I don’t,“ Jean started as an image flashed through his mind –  _Eren on his knees, on the floor, facing the bed, grasping the sheets, begging, whining_ – that knocked the breath right out of him. “I don’t know.”

“Mm…” Eren closed his eyes. Jean thought he fell back asleep until he mumbled, “Hey, Jean?”

“What?”

“Why are you naked?”

Jean choked on his words, –  _Eren shoving him against a wall, tugging Jean’s shirt off, pulling his pants down, Eren dropping to the ground with it_ – his heart hammering violently in his chest. “I don’t know.”

“Why am I naked?”

Jean wanted the ground to swallow him whole so he could disappear because none of this was making any sense and why the hell was Eren slower-than-usual in the morning? He buried his face in his hands, willing himself to wake up from this horrible nightmare. But his hangover was indicator enough that this was very, very real. “I don’t  _know_.”

“Mm.” Another pause. And halle-fucking-lujah, something  _finally_  clicked in that empty head of Eren’s. His eyes snapped open as he sat up to look at Jean. His horror lasted a split second before he was reaching for the pillow and covering his face with it. “What the hell are you doing here?!”

Well this was strangely familiar. “That’s what I’m wondering.”

“Will you cover up? Ugh.  _Not_ what I wanted to see first thing in the morning.”

Jean rolled his eyes but pulled the blanket over his waist. “Do you remember anything from last night?”

“No,” Eren groaned. “Stop yelling.”

“I’m not yelling, idiot.”

“My head fucking hurts. Everything hurts. God even my  _ass_ hurts.”

Jean froze. “Wh-what?”

“I said  _stop yelling_.”

“And I said I’m  _not_.” Okay, maybe now he was, but Jean was having a crisis here. “Will you quit your bitching and try to remember?”

“Remember what?”

“Last night!”

Eren cringed. “I remember being at that pool party… and drinking, a  _lot_. And –“ there was a sharp intake of breath that had Jean’s heart plummeting in dread, “Oh  _god_.”

“What?  _What_? Jesus, Eren, what the fuck is wrong?”

Eren wasn’t saying anything. Jean couldn’t read his expression because he was blocking his face with the pillow. He was about to lean over and rip it away, but Eren moved and reached for something on the nightstand, the pillow falling away. There was a dead look in usually expressive eyes that did nothing to alleviate the settling dread in Jean’s stomach. Eren’s fingers clutched the edges of a paper, the sides crinkling. His shoulders trembled.

“I think I know what happened. And I –“ furious green eyes held Jean in place, “ _am going to fucking kill you!_ ” That was the only warning Jean received before Eren was leaping over the bed and tackling him down. He barely had time to react as Eren brought a fist down. Jean caught it in time.

“Oi.  _Oi!_ Goddamn it, Jaeger, get the hell off!” The paper Eren held was suddenly shoved in his face.

“Look!”

Jean had to uncross his eyes to focus on the paper. When his gaze finally focused, the dread from earlier returned full force. Eren’s heavy breathing was loud in the room. The paper rattled as the hands that grasped it shook. “What is this?”

“What does it look like, dumbass? Can’t you read?”

“I know how to read,” he wanted to shove Eren off of him because they were both naked –  _Eren straddling him, head tossed back_ – but his limbs refused to cooperate. “This is a joke, right?”

“Better fucking hope so.”

Because according to the state of California, they were married.

**Last Night – 23:15**

“Look at what I got us!”

Eren was momentarily blinded as something light was dumped on his head. He adjusted it, revealing a grinning Armin wearing a sombrero. He returned the grin. “Aweso –“ Eren fumbled to keep his beer from spilling when someone roughly bumped shoulders with him. “Hey, asshole, watch it next time.”

“Sorry, man,” the guy said, hands in the air defensively as he walked backwards.

Several tiki shacks surrounded the large pool. Wherever you looked there was a large crowd of people dancing or running around in their bathing suits. Somewhere a little bit ways down, there was a loud cheer around a small stage where a wet t-shirt contest was taking place. Not that Eren could see. “What happened to Mikasa?”

“She got dragged off by Sasha,” Armin said, taking a sip from his own beer and making a face. No matter how many times he forced himself to drink it, he couldn’t stand the taste.

“Guess it’s just you and me tonight,” Eren slung an arm around his shoulders, a shit-eating grin plastered on his face.  _Plastered_. There was a word with the right idea. And without Mikasa supervising them, he was going to get Armin wasted. He chugged down the rest of his beer and crushed the plastic red cup. “I’m going to get you drunk, Armin. I hope you’re ready.”

“How about you  _not_?” Armin protested weakly. He didn’t protest, however, when Eren took his drink and finished it for him.

“Oh come on, Armin. You need to get shit-faced at least once in your life.”

“No, no I do not.”

His words were lost on Eren as he dragged Armin towards one of the tiki shacks. It took several shoves and forcing their way through bodies before they were able to get to the bar table. Luckily enough, two seats cleared up and Eren quickly grabbed them. “You don’t like beer, right? Maybe you’ll like something fruity…”

He turned to signal the bartender, but as he turned, the person next to him looked up and Eren scowled.

A smirk curled across Jean’s lips. “Should’ve figured you’d go for the fruity drinks,  _Jaeger_.”

Eren was interrupted from defending himself when the bartender showed up, “I’ll get an adios* for this guy, and a rum and coke.”

“An adios?” Armin frowned at the name.

“Trust me, you’ll like it.”

“Eren, whenever you say ‘trust me,’ it leads to nothing but trouble.”

“Well, trust me this time, okay?”

“He’s got a point. You need to chill every now and then,” Jean butted in, too close to Eren for his comfort. He shoved Jean away.

“Are you already drunk?”

“Well, yeah. It’s already like –“ Jean glanced at his cell phone, “eleven-something. Why aren’t  _you_ drunk yet?”

“Some of us aren’t lightweights.”

“Right. Or  _you’re_ just a lightweight and haven’t been drinking enough. What? Can’t hold your alcohol, Jaeger?”

Ugh. Eren couldn’t stand the way Jean said his name like he was mocking him. Taunting him. Challenging him. Always,  _always_ challenging him. The bartender set their drinks down and Eren grabbed one and chugged it down.

“Uh, Eren,” Armin watched as he drank the blue liquid. He could only assume that was the adios. Oh well.

“I can hold my alcohol just fine,” Eren said, slamming the empty cup on to the counter. “But what about you?”

Jean’s smirk widened. He tilted his head towards the bartender. “Can we get some tequila shots over here?”

And that was when the rest of the night turned fuzzy.

**02:23**

In hindsight, taking tequila shots one after the other wasn’t a good idea, but Eren found he couldn’t care. He giggled as he leaned against the wall, although that didn’t stop the world from spinning. Jean was doubled over next to him vomiting into the trash can.

“I told you that you couldn’t hold your alcohol,” Eren sang, a stupid grin on his face. Jean shot him a glare, only to turn around and vomit again, sending Eren into another fit of giggles. “I feel fucking wonderful.”

“Well that’s fan-fucking-tastic for—“ Jean gagged, “you.”

“Hey, ish your fault thish happened,” Eren slurred, leaning a little closer to Jean. He retracted the instant he caught a whiff of the garbage. “Ugh. You shmell.”

“No shit Sherlock.” Jean wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I need mouthwash or something.”

Eren dug into the pocket of his swim trunks and pulled out a packet of Orbit gum. He tried to hand it to one of the three Jean’s swerving in his vision. “Um, here. I guessh all of you can have one.”

Jean went to grab it, but he reached out for the wrong Eren and the packet landed on the ground. “Damn it, Eren, you’re so trashed.”

“Sho are you.” Eren pressed one hand against the side of the building as he bent down to pick up the gum. Jean had the same idea. They moved quicker than they should have in their drunken state and knocked heads a little too hard. “Owowow _ow_ ow.”

Stars flashed in Jean’s eyes as he nursed his head, several colorful words that his mother would not approve of flying from his mouth. “Your head is fucking hard as hell.  _Fuck_.”

Eren rubbed his head and stuck his tongue out and maybe Jean really was gone because he thought it was kind of cute and that didn’t sound right. Eren and cute in the same sentence, that was. “Oh yeah. I’ve hit my head a lot. Ish made of shteel.”

Jean snorted. “Well, that explains  _so_ much.”

It was obvious Eren didn’t get it by the way he tilted his head and there was that damn word again. Cute. “You know, you’re kinda cute.”

Jean thought he had accidentally spoken out loud, but it was Eren’s voice that said the words. “ _Hah_?”

“I’ve alwaysh thought sho.”

“Have you really now?” Curiosity piqued Jean’s interest. He picked up the packet of Orbit and slowly took a piece out, his gaze never leaving Eren. His face was flushed, viridian eyes bright and unfocused.

“Mmmhm. Cute like a horshie.” And with that, Eren giggled.

Jean sighed. Typical. “C’mon, let’s get back to the hotel.”

The pool party they went to was located at a different hotel. They had to lean against each other as they stumbled around the public bathroom building and through the pool area. They spotted Connie passed out on one of the fold up chairs, Reiner hovering over him and drawing what looked like penises all over his face. Bertholdt stood next to Reiner, wringing his hands in disapproval. Somewhere along the way they passed by a dancing Ymir and Christa, Sasha playing with glow sticks like she was at some kind of rave, Armin talking with Marco and Annie –  _ah,_  that was where Armin disappeared to – and Mikasa who offered to take Eren back but Jean assured her they’d be fine. She was going to argue until Ymir and Christa dragged her away.

At some point, they had to hold on to each other to prevent themselves from falling. Eren had an arm around Jean’s waist, fingers fisted in his shirt; Jean’s arm draped over Eren’s shoulders.

“You know, Jaeger, you’re not so bad when you’re drunk.”

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?”

“Call me ‘Eren’ or ‘Jaeger’ sh-shometimes. Ish just ‘Eren.’ And I’m not bad all the time, okay?”

“Sure, sure.”

“And you’re okay, too, I guessh. Oh,  _whoa_.”

Jean looked up when Eren stopped, face settled in awe. They hadn’t noticed it earlier in the day when they went to the pool party, probably because it was in the middle of the day. Now, in the darkness of night, a lit up chapel like something out of Las Vegas stood like a beacon in all its bright, colorful glory. It felt like the heavens opened up for Elvis himself to sing a glorious hymn to tempt them to enter the chapel. And maybe the heavens truly had opened up for Elvis because there he was in his white suit, taking a drag from his cigarette.

“Hey, you kids lookin’ to get hitched?” he asked, voice gruff. “Gay marriage is legal now, you know?”

“But why would we wanna get hitched?” Eren asked, Jean sharing his confusion.

Elvis shrugged. “Why not?”

Eren and Jean looked at each other, those two words echoing in their heads. And this was where their lives as they knew it ended.

Elvis was telling them to get hitched. Of course they were going to listen to Elvis.

**03:42**

“We should celebrate.”

“Why?”

Eren waved the marriage certificate with a grin, his words a little less slurred by the time they got to his hotel room. “Isn’t that what people do when they get hitched?”

“I suppose.” Jean snatched the certificate to look at it. Their signatures were wobbly, but that was to be expected due to their inebriation. He tossed it on to the nightstand. “What do you have in mind?”

Eren pulled out a bottle of Grey Goose from his duffel bag. “More shots?”

Jean blanched. “There are  _other_ ways to celebrate.”

Maybe he really was that clueless and stupid, or he was just playing innocent – and if he was, damn was he good at it – but Eren didn’t get the implications. He put the bottle back into his bag. “How do people normally celebrate getting married?”

“I wonder,” Jean murmured, unsure of when he breached the distance between them. His brain was completely fried. There was no room for reasoning, no room for thinking, no room for patience because Eren’s cheeks were still flushed. “You know what a honeymoon is, right? Or are you that stupid?”

“I know what a damn honeymoon is,” Eren snapped.

“And you know what people  _do_ on their honeymoon?”

“Of  _course—_ “ His eyes widened, breath hitching, “ _Oh_.”

“Yes,  _oh_ ,” Jean groaned. He was tired of their conversation. He had spent the whole day and night drinking, after all. Through the fuzzy haze of alcohol, he was aware enough to notice the way Eren looked at him – all big and bright eyes, often wetting his lips with a flick of his tongue – even through the pretense of anger and irritation. He had noticed the heated glaze. And now, all Jean noticed was the way Eren worried his bottom lip.

“Well then,” Eren started to say. “What should we—“

“Shut the fuck up.”

His head spun from the sudden movement, but that didn’t matter because he finally got Eren to stop talking. If he knew this would shut him up, Jean would have kissed him a long time ago. He seized the moment of surprise to slip his tongue into Eren’s mouth. Everything spiraled out of control after that – that or the world seriously needed to slow down – as Eren pushed himself a little closer with a desperate whimper.  _That_ was a new sound. That was a sound Jean could get addicted to. That was a lovely noise and he wanted to hear more, so much more.

Eren felt hot. Unbearably hot. He clung to Jean’s arms, his hands holding Eren’s head in place, otherwise he’d fall over because the ground would not stop moving. A small voice pointed out that he was kissing Jean Kirschtein, but that only elated him more. Fire coiled in his stomach. He needed to be closer. There was too much distance – why were they even wearing clothes? – too much everything. But then Jean wasn’t kissing him anymore, he wasn’t trying to devour Eren anymore, and that left an emptiness inside he didn’t know he had. He opened his eyes and saw desire and indecision. “Why did you stop?”

“Because.” Because this was  _Eren Jaeger_.

“Jean,” it was a little unfair the way Eren purred his name. A tongue flicked out against Jean’s bottom lip, his breath hot, “have you ever fucked a guy before?”

_No_ , Jean wanted to say, but the moment of indecision was gone. There was no going back after shoving Eren up against the nearest wall. There was no more caring, not when Eren was kissing him greedily, arms around Jean’s neck to reel him in for more.

They were a tangle of limbs and sloppy kisses. Hands groping, feeling, fingers brushing against heated skin. Eren’s head banged against the wall when Jean grasped his ass and hauled him up, Eren’s legs wrapping reflexively around his waist. He saw stars, bright hot stars when their waists aligned, because he hadn’t realized how  _hard_ he was until then. Eren’s body moved on its own accord, hips rolling deliciously so against Jean’s bulge. The idea of how good it would feel inside of him had him panting.

“When the hell did you become so…  _hot_?” Jean groaned, face buried at the crook of Eren’s neck. He pressed his nose closer because there was a hint of cinnamon and suddenly he wanted to taste more. He licked a path from shoulder to chin.

“I’ve always…  _aaah_ … been hot.” Eren’s fingers dug through hair, his hips stuttering when teeth scraped his neck, tearing a cry from him.

Jean paused. He did it again – scraped his teeth against skin– and Eren shivered against him.

Well, well,  _well_.

“Jean?” Eren sounded dazed. It worried him that Jean stopped.

“Eren,” Jean replied, his voice a rumble next to Eren’s ear that had him melting against the wall. Jean gave him no warning before biting into the junction between shoulder and neck – not hard enough to break skin, but enough to draw another – louder – cry from Eren.

“W-wait,” Eren stammered. Whatever he wanted to say was lost when Jean started to  _suck_. He thought he could cum right then and there, just like that, with Jean sucking and nipping and licking his neck, with Eren rutting against him, with Jean’s hands dipping into his swim trucks to grab and knead his ass. He could feel the coil in his stomach getting tighter and tighter and  _no_ – He pushed Jean away from him with all the strength he could muster.

Jean stumbled back, expression contorted in confusion and irritation. “What the hell, Eren?”

Eren looked just as fucked up as Jean felt, breath heavy and eyes wild. There was only want on Eren’s face, want and need so why the hell did he push Jean away? He was going to resume what he was doing, but Eren suddenly grabbed the front of his top and his head swam as he was spun around,  _his_ back pressed against the wall.

Before he could get a word out, Eren was kissing him, hot and fierce. They had to pull away for a second so Eren could tug Jean’s shirt off, fingers brushing against exposed nipples that had Jean jolting. And  _oh sweet baby Jesus_ Eren was tugging his trunks off and falling to his knees and Jean thought his knees would give way because Eren was looking up at him and then at his painfully hard cock in fucking  _wonder_.

A puff of hot breath had Jean twitching.

“I’ve always wanted to taste you.”

Jean was going to tell him to suck him off already, but Eren took him in his mouth without preamble – no teasing, no licking, no bullshitting; just straight up wrapped his lips around the head and slid down his length. Jean tried to thrust his hips deeper, but hands held them firmly in place. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined Eren on his knees deep-throating his cock. But here he was. Here they were. And Jean was utterly entranced.

He could feel the way Eren’s tongue slid against the underside of his length. He would pause at times to swirl that tongue around the head, to suckle gently at his tip and glance heatedly up at Jean.  _God_. How many times had he been sucked off by a girl? How many times had he had sex? How many times had he watched porn and gotten off to their dirty moans? But none of that compared to  _Eren_. He’d never been this hard, this undone before. He wanted to think it was because of the alcohol.

A particularly harsh suck had Jean sagging down the wall, his legs finally giving out. He weaved his fingers through Eren’s hair and weakly held on. A moan from Eren had him prying his eyes open – when had he closed them? – to see Eren’s hips gyrating, a hand shoved down the front of his trunks.

No. That simply wasn’t going to do.

He tightened his grip on Eren’s hair and pulled his head back, lips sliding away from his cock with a _pop_. Eren blinked at him, mouth falling open when Jean grasped his chin and slipped a thumb inside. Eren wrapped his tongue around the digit. Maybe some other time he’d fill that mouth up with his cum, but Jean had other plans.

“Eren. Lube.”

Right. Lube. That was important. Eren scrambled to his feet and over to his duffel bag. He fumbled around until he fished out a box of Trojan condoms and a tube of lubricant that came with it – _Arouses & Intensifies _printed in gold letters. He tossed them to Jean and they clattered near him. Jean quirked an eyebrow as Eren struggled to get his clothes off. After he managed to pull his tank top over his head, Eren caught the look Jean gave him.

“What? Like  _you_ weren’t planning on getting laid.”

Well, that was true.

Eren’s swim trucks bundled up around his ankles. He tried to kick them off, only to end up falling on to the hard hotel floor. “Fucker.”

Jean chuckled as Eren pushed himself up to his knees. “You’re an idiot.”

“Takes one to know o— _ah!_ ” When had Jean gotten behind him? He hadn’t heard Jean open a condom. He hadn’t heard him open the tube. He’d been too preoccupied trying to take his clothes off in his inebriated state that he’d been unaware of anything else until condom-wrapped fingers, slicked with lube, were tracing the rim of his hole. It felt cold and burned all at once, the feeling only intensifying when Jean wasted no time in pushing a finger inside.

Kisses showered his back as another finger was added. Eren felt tears prick his eyes. Not from pain. There was only the cold, burning sensation and a heat filling him up, but it wasn’t enough. He needed it deeper. He needed something bigger. His hips rocked in tandem with the thrust of Jean’s fingers. This was a waste of time.

“ _God_ ,” Eren gasped out impatiently, “just shove it in already.”

Jean rolled his eyes, smirking when he found that spot in Eren that had him arching his back and _keening_. He stroked it mercilessly. “Always so impatient.”

“Fuck,” Eren reached out for the bed, holding on to the blanket like it was his only lifeline. “Fucking hurry up and  _put it in_.”

Jean laughed; a deep, heady, rumble as he leaned over Eren and nuzzled his neck. He didn’t stop his ministrations. “I could get used to this. To you begging.”

“There is –  _hnngh_ – a difference between begging and—and…  _fuck_ – demanding.”

There were three fingers inside of him now. Eren’s legs trembled. His knees hurt. The blankets were completely twisted, half of it draping over the bed as Eren clung and tried to pull himself away. Jean kept him from escaping with his body weighing him down. He wanted nothing more than to screw Eren senseless, but there was something thrilling about making Eren beg and writhe and demand for more. Eren’s voice cracked into a whine.

“I’m going to kill you.”

That sounded like a  _please fuck me now_ if he’d ever heard one. It was almost painful retracting his fingers because Eren’s hole twitched and tightened around them. He tossed the condom aside in favor of the one wrapped around his already-slicked cock. He wasted no time in grabbing Eren’s hips, positioning himself at the entrance and burying himself deep inside in one, fluid motion.

“ _Ah_ ,” a small gasp escaped Eren, head thrown back in a silent scream.

Jean grunted, sliding half way out and ramming back in. Just as Eren blew him without any of that foreplay, Jean was skipping the gentle love making. He guided Eren’s waist forward and pulled him back with a quick jerk, meeting him with a thrust of his hips. And oh how deliciously tight he was inside – better than any woman, if Jean was being honest with himself. He really could get addicted to this. To sex with Eren. Maybe he’d think differently when he was sober, but at the moment he was balls-deep inside of  _Eren Jaeger_ who was crying his name like a mantra.

Jean. Jean. Jean.

Yes. Yes.  _Yes_.

Jean had him pressed tightly against the edge of the bed, Eren’s cock rubbing against the rugged fabric of the blanket. His mouth hung open, eyes hooded in absolute pleasure. All he could feel was Jean moving in and out, faster and without mercy and Eren liked it just like that. He felt fuller. Hotter. Like he was being torn open. But it was wonderful. It was painful. It was so, so good. He’d always wondered – always – about Jean – what it would be like—

_Eren_.

Yes. There.  _Fuck_. Jean. Jeanjeanjean.

Eren was seeing stars again. Brilliant, searing stars.

**Present - 13:00**

Jean stared at the cum in his hand and sighed. He maneuvered to the sink and switched the faucet on, pumping some soap into his palm. He was pretty sure they continued further activities on to the bed – something about the floor hurting Eren’s knees. He vaguely recalled Eren pushing him on to said bed and jumping his bones –  _Eren bouncing up on down on his cock, his hands supporting himself against Jean’s chest, the bed creaking beneath them, Jean grabbing his ass and pulling his cheeks apart, Eren sliding further down and screaming_. Jean cursed. He’d  _just_ finished jerking off to what he could remember and now he was already getting hard again?

God. Exactly how much had they done last night?

He shut the faucet off and dried his hands on a towel. The urge to punch something was strong, but Jean didn’t want to pay any fees for hotel damages so he stormed out of the bathroom and into his room. After the initial shock of finding out they were married, Eren got off of Jean and kicked him out of his room. He’d been furious. But then again, so had Jean. Why had he let himself get drawn into that stupid drinking contest?

He’d never have ‘married’ Eren – if that was legit. Eren raged about going to the chapel to find out and apply for a divorce. He’d never have noticed how cute Eren could be. He’d never have noticed how hot Eren was, or the sounds he could make, or how seductive he could be, or how wonderfully addictive sex with him was.

Jean let out a frustrated breath. No. All he would need was to get laid with a  _female_ and he was sure he’d be back on the right track with Eren out of his system.

A knock on the door interrupted his thoughts. Jean went over and opened it a little too viciously, and there was Eren looking sullen and flustered. “Hey.”

“Hey.” All of his earlier anger dissolved into an awkward tension. He was pretty sure some memories from last night came back to Eren as well because he was avoiding eye contact. “Did you go to the chapel?”

“Yes.” Eren sighed. “The certificate is legit. They said we’ll have to file a divorce, and that it could take a couple of months for it to go through.”

“Figured.”

Eren finally looked at him. There wasn’t anger on his face anymore – maybe a little hint of it behind those viridian eyes – just wary curiosity. “I thought you’d freak out about this a little more.”

“Me too,” Jean admitted. He scratched a cheek. “I think I’m just mad I didn’t get a ring.”

Eren cracked a smile. “I suppose I could get you one if you don’t mind one of those fifty-cent ones. It’s all I can afford.”

Whatever tension there was left between them dissolved away. “I’ll expect a nicer one later in the future.”

“Sure. In your dreams, maybe.”

The two stared at each other, awkward smiles and sexual tension and all.

“So…”

“So.”

“Wanna fuck?”

“ _Yes_.” Eren wasted no time forcing his way inside. The door shut behind them.

**14:16**

“So.”

Eren drew lazy circles over Jean’s bare chest. Jean leaned back against the headboard, arms behind his head.

“Hm?”

“I guess before we file for divorce, we could discuss what last name we’ll use.”

“Well that’s obvious. Jaeger.”

Jean snorted. “No way. Kirschtein is way better.”

“I’m not changing my last name to Kirschtein. It’s stupid.”

“Yeah, well, Jaeger is stupider.”

“Jaeger is  _cool_. C’mon. Jean Jaeger? Even you have to admit that sounds awesome.”

“What are you? On crack? Eren Kirschtein makes more sense.”

“Or we could just not change our last names.”

“…but I like Eren Kirschtein.”

“You’re an idiot.”

**The end.**

**PS:** The scene where Mikasa finds out about their elopement had been removed due to bloodshed and violence.

**PPS:** You’ll be pleased to know Eren and Jean procrastinated on applying for divorce. They continue to do so. Unfortunately they can’t come to an agreement on whose last name to keep.

 

***adios motherfucker**


End file.
